DOARS- Week 3 Day 5- Mush

Okay, so I know that I'm kind of rushing the chapters out right now. It's simply because I really wanted to play the DOARS, but I didn't want to wait so long before writing their chapters that I forgot what was going on. So I'm writing the days as I'm playing them, which is pretty quickly.
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Dear Diary,

Well, today was my 3rd day as a married woman. Here's to hoping it'll be better than the first two. Not that they were bad, but I think it's fair to say that I wasn't in the best of moods the last couple of days. I felt... idk... mushy? Soft? I'm not sure what the right word is. I didn't feel like myself, that's for sure.

Today started out the best it possibly could have. Cycl0n3 was awake and still waiting for me! Didn't I tell you that he would? Aww, he's so perfect. I'm sure one of these days Tony will do his best to separate us in the morning, but until then, I'll just revel in his presence. Have I ever said how much I enjoy being around him? What, only everyday for the last several days? Well, good. That's probably a sign of a happy marriage, right? Wrong? What do you know anyway?
Actually, just kidding, I couldn't hear you that time. I just felt like arguing. Hehehe.  Hmm...I think that getting married might have actually made me more immature...

First thing on Cycl0n3's schedule was grocery shopping. Apparently he wanted to buy some new seed for the garden and pick up some pizza. Yumm. That's not the point, though. Did you see the point? Well, I'll enlighten you. He stuck around to see me wake up even though he had things to do.
About now you're probably asking yourself, why the change of behavior for my lovely man? If you're thinking that it's due to some prodding on my part then you're.... probably right. Lol, good job.

He came home when I was paying bills. Bills, ick. It was a lot less horrible with him around, though. See? I told you everything was better when Cycl0n3 was there. Am I being mushy again? Yes. Do I care? Heh, no, not at all.

As I put the laundry away I saw something really unexpected. Cycl0n3 was working out... without me! I was flabbergasted... and really impressed. I'm not sure why seeing him take an interest in physical activity filled me with such joy, but it did. Why am I mentioning it when I've previously said that I enjoyed watching him work out? Well, yikes, this is kind of embarrassing... uh... I... uh.... teared up. Don't judge me! I know I was emotional okay? I almost didn't tell you, but in the interest of (almost) full disclosure I did. I was just as surprised as you were, okay? What me? the soccer star formerly known as Lynn Winslow crying because her husband was working out? RIDICULOUS!.... and yet true....

Good grief, what's happening to me?

Not to be outdone, I decided to work out, too. Only by the time I changed and jumped on the treadmill, he had already abandoned his athletic activities in favor of gardening. Well, figures. I guess I should have expected that. I mean, why would he bother to hang out with me doing something I enjoy? Honestly, it stung a little. Why? WHYYYYY? This isn't me? Who is this emotional monster inhabiting my mind? And WHEN will she go awaay?

Well, it didn't matter anyway because just as soon as I started running I felt like throwing up. I had to get off almost immediately. I went straight to the shower and Cycl0n3 even noticed and asked if I was okay. That was sweet. I guess he does care after all. Aww. I've got a great husband. Plus, he was even doing laundry for me.

If you're wondering why we're washing so much laundry, it really is because I want a new washing machine. I want one very badly. 

So the shower did not alleviate my nausea like I hoped it would, unfortunately. That was so unpleasant. I hated being in compromising positions, and kneeling in front of the porcelain throne was certainly compromising.

Now, now, I know what you're thinking. If I hadn't been overly emotional and distracted by embarrassment, I'd be thinking the same thing. Let's not talk about that, though, eh?

We can talk about how my evil washing machine broke, though. Seriously, I think it's the latest and most devoted minion of Tony. I mean, it makes sense, right? It's noisy. It's obnoxious. It breaks all the time. And now it was trying to flood out not only me, but also my husband. Pure evil I say, and it definitely had Tony's fingerprints all over it.

Let's just say this, the washing machine failed its mission. 

Cycl0n3 seemed to get the idea that I wanted to spend fitness time with him, though, and invited me over to train him. Wasn't that thoughtful? I think I trained him for a good 3 hours. Boy won't he be sore tomorrow! He's a great student though. He's so diligent and wonderful. It's almost enough to make me cry.

Whether I did or not I will leave up to you.

Cycl0n3 is amazing. I know, I know, I've said that before. Seriously, though, the guy knew I was having a rough day and rubbed my back for me. I just... I just can't even describe how happy I am to be married to him. Even if he does wear ridiculous sunglasses.

Thinking about how wonderful he was led me into telling him as much. I mean, I've never been one for verbal communication too much, not serious communication at least, but I thought it was about time for me to express how much I appreciated having him in my life. He seemed to mildly appreciate that I appreciated him.

He could have been a little more animated and reassuring, though. I mean, I was pouring out my heart to the guy and he can't be bothered to reassure me? He knows that I have a hard time communicating! Doesn't he believe in positive reinforcement? Psh. Men. Well, since he couldn't be bothered to respond appropriately enough, I couldn't be bothered to stick around for where the conversation was going. Hmph. I'd probably yell at him for being inconsiderate.

Now, I know what you're thinking, I was overreacting. After all he was probably shocked that I opened up at all, too shocked to do more than mildly appreciate me. Psh. Whatever. Aren't I allowed to feel however I felt, even if it was irrational? Huh? That's what I thought... wait, hey! Did you just say no? Goodness, I can't catch a break, can I?

I was starving. Famished. On death's door from hunger. Okay, the last one wasn't true. I really really wanted some mac 'n cheese, though. I was craving it something fierce. Also, for some reason I had adopted a slightly southern way of forming a sentence. Whatever, it doesn't matter. Being the non-horrid wife that I am, I did make enough for two.

... and it turned out to be his favorite meal. Hmm. It's not that I wasn't happy to cook his favorite meal for him, but I was a little upset with him still. I know, I know, I was being petty, but had I known that it was his favorite I might have gone for... sushi. Isn't that awful? Man, I can't tell you how bad I feel about myself today. That's terrible, it really is. What's wrong with me? Cycl0n3 is like the light of my life, why was I being so mean to him?

After dinner he totally made it up to me. He cleaned up the dishes! Isn't that great? It was so sweet. I was tired and I didn't feel like it, so I can't even tell you how happy I was that he offered to clean the dishes. I can't believe I was mad at him earlier. He was seriously helpful and loving. I had definitely picked the right guy for me.

Hmm, I must say that I'm way more in love with him than I thought I was. I'm actually admitting it now. I love Cycl0n3 Sw0rd. Eeeeeeks, isn't that great? I feel like I've taken a huge step. I love Cycl0n3 Sw0rd. Just saying that makes me smile. I feel like the happiest girl in the world, even if I am a little emotional.

Earlier than usual, though not as early as the previous night, I decided to go ahead and retire for the night. It had been a really weird day, I was just looking forward to the day being over with. Cycl0n3 was sweet enough to whisper sweet nothings to me as I feel asleep.
He was a really great guy. I fell asleep even happier than usual. The night didn't go as smoothly as I was expecting, though....

... because I realized that I was expecting.

How did that happen?

Please don't answer that. What in the world was I going to tell Cycl0n3, though? How was I going to tell him? What would this do to my career? What gender would the baby be? Why did this happen to me?


Mother-to-be,

Lynn Sw0rd

DOARS- Week 3 Day 4 -The Big 2.0

Dear Diary,

Today I have been married for two days. It's almost unbelievable right? Well, you could at least try to believe it. I mean, I'm even going (trying to go) by Lynn Sw0rd now.

By the way, I have got to say that I love waking up next to him in the mornings. I told him as much when I was flirting with him. Isn't is sweet that he listened to me? C'mon, cut him some slack! I bet even if he had been awake before me, he would have stayed in bed just to watch me wake up. He totally would have. Shut up. He would have. Yes, yes he would. 

Ok, so maybe I'm trying to convince myself, but still. I guess we'll probably find out someday. And here is where you remind me that even though I complain when he leaves me without saying anything, I do it every morning, or have since we got married. Yeah, yeah, I know. Double standard. Whatever. I have better things to do than watch him sleep. I mean, really. He may be my favorite guy around, but I still have a life.

So while he was sleeping, I left to go sing to the kids at the hospital. They didn't pay me with anything but the children's love. Actually it was really touching. I genuinely felt bad for the little guys. I really hope that my kids are healthy, wait... no, I mean, if I have kids I hope they're healthy. I'm SO not planning on having any. I mean, yes, it's true I married Cycl0n3 and I said that was never going to happen, I think I fell in love with him, even, another thing that wasn't going to happen. He managed to grow something in my garden, another impossibility, but kids? Uh, no. Still not in my plans... no matter how adorable and great a father Cycl0n3 would be. *Sigh* Man, he would be an awesome father.

Well, we had our first big disappointment after getting married. Cycl0n3 broke our toilet. That was a big let down. I really didn't think that he'd break anything after moving in. I mean... he was Cycl0n3, did he even use toilets enough to break them? *snicker snicker*

Before I could embarrass him (and myself) by laughing hysterically at him, I went to write thank you notes to our friends that sent us wedding presents. Actually this kind of stunk because we didn't actually get any gifts, and I had to write like 10 thank you notes to all of my friends basically thanking them for... what exactly? They didn't come to my wedding, they didn't send any presents, they hadn't said congratulations on my recent marriage, and they forced me to take 2 days off work for a "honeymoon" that they didn't send me on.

Why was I thanking them?
Well... hmm.... I guess Cycl0n3 and I were using our honeymoon time pretty well. I mean we went on a date to the gym yesterday, and then we went to a party, we had plans of spending the day together alone today, so I shouldn't complain too much. Actually having a few days off to get used to being married was pretty cool. I guess that's what I was thanking them for? Oh, did I forget to mention that all of my friends are my co-workers and boss? Yeah, that's where the work tie-in came from.

Now you may be wondering why exactly I was doing laundry again. To be honest it was because I wasn't so sure who that bed came from and I didn't get the chance to ask. On the off chance (wait, wasn't it more likely from the gnomes than Cycl0n3?) that it was from the gnomes, I decided to show them my gratitude. Though I must say, I was earnestly wishing for a new washing machine. The old tin bucket was horrible. It made sooo much noise, it leaked all over the place... and Cycl0n3 couldn't stand the thing. Well, I couldn't either, but I found it more bothersome that he couldn't. It simply would not do for much longer.

Now I know you may have been wondering where Cycl0n3 was all day. I have two answers for you, which you may have already guessed. 1) He slept in until 2 pm and 2) he was out in his garden after waking up.

I never realized how attractive gardening could be. I think that would probably be one of my favorite pastimes. Not gardening, but watching Cycl0n3 garden, that is. I have to laugh a little bit because I just thought of a dirty joke I could make about that. Heh. I'll keep it to myself, there are some jokes that even I won't make.

Let's not get too sidetracked, after the garden was tended to, we decided to work out together. The couple that works out together stays together, right? I think I've heard that somewhere... Anyways, after working out together again, and Cycl0n3 getting way more into it than he had the other day, I decided that I liked him best when he was working out and second best when he was gardening. Though really the two activities were fun to watch. Hmm.... maybe I just liked watching him. Wait? Did that make me sound like a stalker?

At any rate, after working out, despite the fact that neither of us had been up for even 12 hrs, we decided to retire for the evening.

We had a great night.

Blissfully happy,

Lynn Sw0rd

DOARS- Week 3, Day 3 -Incontinent

Welcome back! Haven't our recent entries been exciting? :) I've certainly enjoyed them. I think though, that our next few entries will be less exciting... but, even though I'm writing this thing, even I really have no idea what's in store for us! lol. Just don't think about that too much.
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Dear Diary,

Today I woke up in the arms of my husband.

That's a pretty big statement for me. I mean, think about it: 1) I'm freely admitting that I have a husband; 2) I'm not expressing any real or imagined commitment issues; and 3) my husband actually broke his nasty habit of leaving me in the mornings after we got married.

See how big that is?

Now, I must say it took me a while to remember that we were in fact married. Honestly waking up with his arms around me was a little scary. Well, at least until I remembered that we'd gotten married. And then the fact that I was a married woman really took over my thoughts. I must say that I'm extremely proud that I didn't freak out more than I did.

Did I do the right thing in marrying him? What happened if he met someone else that actually loved him? What if I had a baby? What if I was a terrible mother? Etc, etc. There were so many new things to worry about.

...but, I'm sure everything will go okay, because let's face it: Cycl0n3 rocks. AND he totally didn't leave me on our first morning as a married couple. How sweet is that? He really is the best.

Needless to say Cycl0n3 was definitely in my good graces. I was so pleased when I heard him get up and mumble to himself. He's adorable right? Well... in between bites of salad I heard what he was mumbling about. He was trying to calculate when I could have our first child. I think I choked on my food, or maybe I just inhaled it, or whatever, it was extremely unpleasant.

I do not want a baby.

I mean, I hadn't even told my husband that I loved him. How were we even slightly ready for a baby?

The only thing that I really wanted at that moment was to not be pregnant. Cycl0n3 and I really should have talked about kids before we got married. No matter, it was something we could discuss even though we already were married. I mean, surely he'd understand that I wanted to wait until I was ready, right? I had a career, after all, we were newly weds, I still wasn't even sure if I was in love with my husband, etc, etc. He'd understand... maybe.

Well, I decided to put off talking to him about it until after I cleaned the house. That was a good idea right? I'm not sure why, but after getting married I wanted to be a lot more domestic than I had been. Maybe it was because I was cleaning for someone else now? Ha! Yeah, I didn't think so either. I think it was just the fact that cleaning took my mind off of how unprepared I really was to be married to my husband.

While cleaning the toilet I realized that this marriage was going to be a lot of hard work. And I wasn't ready.

Ready or not, for better or worse, here I was. C'mon, I'm Lynn Winslow, I can handle anything. I can totally make this marriage work, even if I wasn't madly in love with my husband. I mean, I really liked him a lot. I was totally into him. I liked him way more than I liked anyone else that I'd ever known, that would be enough right?

On a side note, while making the bed I noticed that it was not the same bed. Then I thought back to the previous night, and had I not been so distracted at the time, I probably would have noticed that the bed was different then, too. Now I had a conundrum. Did Cycl0n3 change it or did the gnomes?

I was just about to ask him when he started going on excitedly about how married and happy he was. I can't really say how I felt about that. I mean, why didn't I feel that excited? Actually it was just a little annoying, though really sweet that he was so happy about us.

I did the only thing I could think of. I told him point blank that I didn't want to have any children with him.

 To say that the room was awkwardly silent for a long time would be an understatement. It would possibly be more accurate to say that the suffocating intensity of what I had just said almost depleted my body of all oxygen before Cycl0n3 said something. Actually I'll never forget what he said. He said that it wasn't a big deal and to let him know if I changed my mind later, because he thought we could have an awesome child. It was kind of heart-breakingly sweet. It was painfully obvious to me that he really wanted to have kids with me. Who was keeping him from being a parent? I was. Yes I felt guilty. I didn't wast too much time feeling like that, though. I might take him up on the offer to change my mind someday, you never know.
I did know one thing, though.
He was seriously the best husband ever. I'm not really sure why I was worried about our marriage in the first place. I should have thought about that more. I mean, of course he'd just go with what I wanted, he was in love with me.

So I invited him to come to the gym to work out with me. Now I know what you're thinking, you're probably saying to yourself that I should be more considerate of him. I should concede to some of his demands. I should be a little bit more loving and what not. All I have to say is this- see that kiss? I totally initiated that.
Oh yeah, and please don't forget that I have yet to disagree with him, so I'd say I'm being pretty yielding. Oh and who said he had any demands anyways? Goodness, you people say the weirdest things. I'm probably the best wife ever.... er, well... the best wife out of all the wives who were never really convinced that they loved their husbands when they got married.
Yeah.... not really something to brag about... I think I'll just shut up now.

Okay, but what other woman could say that they got their husband to work out with them? I mean, sure, I may have bribed him into doing it. Who could blame me, though? Cycl0n3 working out was both entertaining and painful. Poor guy could not have been worst suited to the activity. Ha! I think I laughed for the whole afternoon. He stuck it out, though. Even if he still looked a little lame after hours and hours of trying to figure out what he was doing. Heh. Cycl0n3 working out, I can't even say (write) that without giggling.

Our evening plans involved schmoozing at Monica's party.... which she had to ditch for work. Well a party can still be a party even without the hostess. Tony failed to ruin it. No gnomes showed up. BUT, it was me and Cycl0n3's first party together, so I enjoyed it none-the less. Was there anything fun to do? No. Was there anything tasty to eat? Not until Cycl0n3 made some. Was the company that much fun? Not really, only Cycl0n3 was. So why did I enjoy the party? Cycl0n3 was there, I mean, helloo, everything was better with him around... even lame parties.

While I was talking to Monica's husband, Gus, Cycl0n3 snuck out to go tend to his fledgling garden. I'll go ahead and take the time here to note that I was shocked and dismayed that anything grew. I really didn't expect it. The mere thought that there would be a garden in my front yard is just.... man, so unbelievable. I totally just rolled around on the ground laughing before I could finish that sentence. I mean seriously, you're laughing too, right? Well, I guess more ridiculous things have happened. I mean... I'm Lynn Sw0rd now, aren't I? Oh yeah, hey that's right. I did change my name. Lol! I had better stop calling myself Lynn Winslow. Hehehe. I should probably feel worse about that than I do. Heh. Honest mistake.

Well, back to the subject at hand. Cycl0n3 in his garden was really quite attractive. I think he had the kind of  looks that really grew on a person. I mean sure, at first I didn't think he was much to look at. And when he wet himself the first time I went to his house he was... um, a lot to look at, but in a bad way. Now though, I barely ever laughed when I looked at him. Well, I barely ever laughed at him, it was more with him now. Yeah. I'll keep telling myself that. Heh. Incontinence. heheh.

Anyways, somehow I managed to convince my husband that there were better things he could be doing. Heh, did that sound as bad to you as it did to me?

 Tonight, though, as we drifted off to sleep I told him I loved him. I think I meant it, too.

Trying to remember my own name,

Lynn Sw0rd

DOARS- Week 3 Day 2 -Denial

Dear Diary,

Despite the fact that Cycl0n3 slept over, I still woke up alone. Now I must say that I really wasn't as upset as I expected to be. Sure, I was slightly annoyed that he left again in the morning without informing me, but I think I'm getting used to that. After all, I have absolutely no reason to be insecure about how he feels about me. I don't need to worry that him leaving me again is a demonstration of his secret desire to stop being friends or anything like that. It really is a comforting thought, y'know? The person that I care the most about seems to care about me the most, too. Isn't that nice? I think it's nice, even if I know that I don't care about him quite as much as he cares about me, and maybe not even in the same way. 

After having... well.... questionable dreams about him last night, I must say that I'm still on the fence about the two of us. Do I like like him? Could I really fall in love with him someday? I don't really have the answers to these questions, despite the fact that I am fairly brilliant, if I do say so myself. Well, anyways, let's just say that the peculiar nature of my dreams last night left me a little glad to not have to see him right away. I mean, I think I'd probably blush and let's face it, I'm Lynn Winslow, I don't blush.

I had to stop and chuckle to myself. Maybe Cycl0n3 had left early because he didn't want to face me after what he dreamt last night. heh, heh. Well, that's rather unlikely. He had, after all, declared his undying love to me less than 24 hours ago, so I really doubt that his courage would fail him now. Ah well, I'll come up with some other reasonable answer for his disappearance.

On a different note, I need more athletic skill for my job. I mean, I really don't want to let the team down the next time I get to play in a game. So after a quick change of clothes, I  am doing a strength workout. Now typically, as I'm sure some of you fitness experts out there have noticed, I do aerobic work outs. I generally prefer them, they're less intense, after all. I find myself more refreshed than tired after them, and what not. Today however I decided that the team could really use a little bit more muscle and so I'll be attempting strength workouts more frequently. Feel free to talk to my agent if you have any questions about that.

After working out I decided to offer my sacrifice of appeasement to the gnomes. I had in fact noticed that this morning my shower was replaced with a brand new crappy one. Thus I felt that it would be appropriate to repay the gnomes with laundry. Makes sense, right? Maybe next time they'd even get me a decent shower instead of just replacing a crappy broken one with a crappy working one. I can hope, right?

Hmm, maybe that's why Cycl0n3 didn't bother to stick around this morning. Why would he when he can go home to ... wait, no. Nope, I guess that won't work. His shower's broken, too. Ah well, maybe I should try harder to convince him to move in here so that I will stop feeling guilty about that. Er, well... I guess the more logical solution would just be to find time and go over to fix them.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

When I went out to check the mail, I noticed that Cycl0n3 hadn't actually left at all. Instead he was busy burying seeds in my dirt. How odd. Did the peculiar little man think that Tony would really let anything grow on my land? Ha! Well, I suppose that I had never really told Cycl0n3 about that particular war, so how could he know? 

At any rate, I really was glad to see him. I had been trying to ignore all morning how bothersome it was to be left alone again. And now I know that I hadn't been left alone, after all. Though, I wonder if I should be slightly insulted, I mean, he left me alone in the house so that he could putter about in a hopeless garden? Hmm, for a woman who he supposedly loved, you'd think he'd try to cater to me more. Well, I'd think that anyway. I guess I should just be thankful that he didn't leave, right?

Bills. Of course. I think whoever came up with the idea for bills must have been on Tony's team. I mean, think about it. Bills are the bane of everyone's life- it had to be an evil Tony scheme, right?

When I went back into the house Cycl0n3 pounced me. I found a few things wrong with this. They are as follows: 1) I am smelly, I was on my way to shower after working out earlier. So I was both impressed and disgusted. I mean, apparently my smelliness wasn't that much of a turn off for him- and yet that makes me question his own hygiene habits... 2) My phone was obviously ringing and I wonder if it was important, but I guess now we'll never know. 3) I enjoyed kissing him and didn't even think about numbers 1 and 2 until I started writing about the kiss just now. Really that last one is the most bothersome. I mean it certainly makes me question how I feel about the guy. Friends don't usually enjoy kissing each other.... right?

Onto a less disturbing theme, Cycl0n3 made me lunch after I took a shower. Wasn't that nice of him? Well, I thought it was so sweet. I mean, I had to leave for work pretty soon, and it was really thoughtful of him. He's a pretty great guy. I'm even more determined to convince him to move in here, somehow. Think of how useful he'd be! He could clean the house while I was gone; he could tend the *snicker* garden (if he can ever get anything to grow); he could make me dinner (and lunch and breakfast); he could do the laundry; he could go grocery shopping; he could rub my back when it gets sore; he could take care of the kids.... wait! No! Oh no no no no. That slipped out. That's not at all what I meant to say. Kids? Psh! Yeah right! Ha! I mean... like.... hah, imagine that... me and Cycl0n3 having a baby... together? Um... yeah, let's just move on. I'm going to ignore the fact that this ever happened.

And so it was off to work, which was uneventful, you should know. We practiced for a game and that was about it. Joy. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my job even when there's not a lot left to do. Plus, I know there is a lot of pre-game prep that I need to catch up on. I'm still and extremely fresh member of the team and I need more experience... but, I can't help but remember with fondness my days as a toddler coach. Crazy, right? Totally crazy! But when I was surrounded by those little tikes I really enjoyed it. I know, I know, I pretended to hate it, but how could I? They were so adorable and I got to help them learn something that will benefit them in the long run. I mean, think about it, one of them might follow in my footsteps and might become really famous and tell all the world that the world famous soccer star, Lynn Winslow was the one that inspired them. Seriously, how cool would that be?

Have I ever claimed to not be a coward? I can't remember. I know sometimes I like to think I'm brave, I really do. Let's face it though. I'm a coward. When I got home from work I didn't go inside and see if Cycl0n3 had stuck around. I grabbed the laundry. Oh sure, I told myself it was because the gnomes would be happier if I got it done sooner than later and I really didn't care if Cycl0n3 was there or not, but it was a lie. For the sake of honesty, I'll admit it here. I wanted Cycl0n3 to be there when I got home and I just didn't want to find out that he wasn't.

But, it turned out that I didn't need to worry about it. Not only was he there, but he made me dinner. Actually I had eaten at work, so I felt a little bad. Imagine that! Me? Lynn Winslow? Feeling bad because the Town Loser made me dinner and I had already eaten? Crazy right? .... well, maybe I am a little crazy. And you know what else, it's really not nice to refer to my best friend as the Town Loser so, I'd really appreciate it if you stopped doing that. You're going to offend me one of these days, you know?

Feeling guilty (again! How is it that I only feel like that when it's about Cycl0n3?) I decided to sit at the table with him while he ate dinner. It was a very perplexing situation. I wanted him there with me. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. Yikes! I mean, that's weird, right? I don't love him, y'know? So why would I want to tell him that? I mean, if he hadn't pressed the issue, we'd just be friends. Well.... okay, I know he didn't really press the issue, he asked and I just sorta... you know. I mean, surely you haven't forgotten! It was only yesterday! You really gonna make me say it? Okay, fine! I agreed to be his girlfriend. And I don't know what came over me, but I don't regret it. That's kind of like... really scary. I'm surprised I didn't have nightmares last night because of how scary that really is.

 Anyways, back to a less.... wait, no... switching to an equally scary topic... well, the same topic really, Cycl0n3 had definite plans for the evening. Ones he made me aware of by flirting with me. Apparently I was the glitter that lit up his world. Aww. You have to admit it, that was kind of sweet. What was that? It was kind of lame? What? Hey! It was not. If your best friend said that to you... wait, I guess I really should update what I'm calling him. If your boyfriend said that to you, you'd think it was sweet, too.
Okay, I think I may have just started shuddering a little bit. Boyfriend? *Takes a deep breath* that's a big word. Why do I get the feeling that I'm forcing myself to be more scared of it than I really am? I mean, I agreed to it, right? So it really couldn't be that horrible and scary, otherwise I would have ran away, right? Oof, this is just way too much thinking. Would it really be so bad if I was in love with Cycl0n3? Wait, no, not in love, but how about like like? I can admit to that. I like like Cycl0n3. There, I admit it and I don't feel like going and jumping off a bridge. Okay. I think I can handle this. I like Cycl0n3 as more than a friend.

Alright, alright, I get it, it's not that big to admit to liking your boyfriend as more than a friend, but it is for me, okay? Can't you be happy for me and stop picking on me for once?

I felt that my realization called for some celebration. Cycl0n3 seemed more than happy to oblige me. That was awfully sweet of him, wasn't it? He's a really great boyfriend. I'm glad that I agreed to date him. I mean, he cooks for me? How cool is that? I bet none of you have boyfriends as great as that.

Yup, he pretty much rocks.

... And then he asked me to marry him.
Now, now, I know what you're all thinking. You're all saying to yourselves, yikes that was fast! You guys just started dating, what does he think he's doing proposing already? Put the brakes on, Lynn! Don't accept him Lynn. Well.... I did something that no one, not even myself would believe.

... I accepted....

... and then promptly became Mrs. Cycl0n3 Sw0rd.

Now, I could chose to explain my behavior, but I won't. Actually, I don't think I could even if I tried, but I will say this. Looking at him, after just vowing to spend the rest of my life with him and him alone, and then looking at the sparkly thing on my finger, I felt at peace. I mean, I tried to feel scared and uncertain, I really did. But I didn't. Actually I don't think I've ever been happier. I really can't explain it, but it happened, and I'm really glad it did. I married him. In fact, I think I even fell in love with him. I'm not totally certain about that last one, but I wouldn't have wanted to marry anyone else, I didn't ever want to kiss anyone else, I didn't want anyone else living with me, so if that's not love... well, I'm not sure that it is love, but I am pretty sure that what I feel for Cycl0n3 is the closest thing I'll ever have to love and that's good enough for me. Even though it did take me and awful long time to come to that conclusion.

Well, as one would generally expect Cycl0n3 had a very clear idea of how he wanted us to finish off our evening. And I kept to the recent and unbroken tradition of agreeing with him.

 For better or worse, I'm determined to spend the rest of my life with Cycl0n3.

Newly wed,

Lynn Winslow