Wednesday, April 4, 2012

DOARS- Day 13 -Saboteur

Dear Diary,

Have you heard advice to never wake a sleeping woman? Let me just formally submit my name (Lynn Winslow) to the petition to remove the never part of that advice and replace it with, 'Only under certain circumstances.'

Only under certain circumstances wake a sleeping woman.

What is one of those circumstances you may ask?


If you're leaving for work and your guest is still sleeping! I can't believe he did it again. I mean, yeah I know that he has to be at work by 8 am, but seriously dude? You can't be bothered to tell me bye? Or ciao? Or adios? Adieu? I wouldn't have minded being woken up to say goodbye to you, and I still don't know your roommates, so basically I feel like I'm an intruder in your house now. Great! I love being around strangers looking like a complete loser because I'm wandering around aimlessly looking for my host.

Actually, I'd rather not look like a loser in front of complete strangers. (That's Cyclon3's job, heeheheee, heh)


Anyways, since I'm already feeling uncomfortable and out of place (and very grumpy!) Tony decides to sabotage everything I touch. I get up and use the bathroom. It breaks. Tony says, "You are gonna regret all that lip you gave me yesterday."


Tony decided that old dishes should stink and attract flies (another one of his pesky laws)... and be left in front of me to annoy me. Tony says,  "it's to teach you a lesson, cupcake."
I'll show him, I'll just wash the bowl when I'm finished eating.


I put the dishes in the dishwasher (to wash them). It breaks, of course. Now, I know you can't hear due to the fact that you're reading this and not watching it, but Tony's maniacal laughter fills the air and sounds a lot like birds chirping. It would, wouldn't it? Meh birds, meh Tony. Meh, I say.


My hatred for the Tony and breakable things boils over when I take a shower. It breaks. More birds chirping. This time I think I hear crickets, too. Bleh, crickets. They're only minutely less awful than birds, you know.
Now, you may recall that yesterday Tony tried to kill me with a flood, as well. I think Tony's getting even more brave, before today he had always seemed to call a truce while I was at a friend's house. Maybe he doesn't like his name? I could go back to saying 'the world' but that gets kind of old. I wonder what Cyclon3 would say about Tony's name... (We're just friends, okay, so stop that snickering. Nothing happened yesterday. At. all.)



 Speaking of friends, friends help friends, that's what I've heard right? Well, whatever, if you think I'm fixing this stupid toilet because it's Cyclon3's and I'm trying to help him, you're dead wrong. I'm fixing it because it's the nice thing to do. If you break something, you should fix it. My actions have nothing to do with Cyclon3 or the fact that this is his toilet.


I barely had enough time to rush off to work after finishing the toilet repair. Maybe I should build up my handiness skill? Tony breaks my stuff all the time, so some repair skilz could be quite useful....

As for being nice (although I'm grumpy, let's not forget) I suppose I will have to come back tomorrow to fix the shower and dishwasher. Bleh. I'll make sure to come home, though, in stead of staying over. I'm not sure I want to keep being reminded that Cyclon3 has no manners.


As I rode to work I thought of ways to show my anit-Tony stance. I could rally at Town hall. I could riot underwater. I could rave at restaurants. I don't see any practical reasons to carry out any of these ideas, though. Not to mention, that I really don't have the time, what with needing to fix all the appliances at Cyclon3's and working and all.


Me and my coworkers all got to work at the same time, which was fun. We had a kind of boring day of practice, but Jack managed to spice it up by pulling a prank on Marty. Heh. I don't think I've ever seen a guy jump so high before. Heh. If there's one thing I'd say for Jack, he's a pretty fun guy to be on a team with... well when he's pranking other people, that is.


As soon as I got home I started the laundry. Gotta keep the gnomes happy, now don't we? Even though I was very tired, I feel like this sacrifice of time was worth it.


As was the time spent eating dinner. I know, it's not fair that I have to eat, I'd rather be sleeping, but Tony's still the one in charge (bah humbug!) and I have to play by his rules... and I hate being hungry. Stupid rules.

A little lonely and a lot grumpy,

Lynn Winslow


No comments:

Post a Comment