Tuesday, October 30, 2012

DOARS- Day 14, now to be known as Week 2 Day 7- The Melancholy Of

Welcome back, dear readers!
I will now tell you some exciting news! I'll be formatting the chapter titles like the game formats them. Thus, starting with week 3 day 1, I will stop remembering exactly what number of day it is, just the week and day of the week. However, if the day number is horribly important to you, then I feel the need to remind you that it's simple to calculate it yourself, and please do so.
Also please keep in mind that it's been 6 months since I did anything with DOARS and thus the writing style and in jokes may change or be forgotten. I guess we'll just have to see, won't we?

On, Teb, on!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

Not that I particularly want to start this entry in a melancholy or morose way, but today was... sad. There really are other words I could use to describe it. I could even talk about everything wonderful that happened,   and completely ignore the fact that today was sad, but... well, that would be dishonest. I want to be known as an honest famous person.


The day started as most days do, which is probably the problem. I was alone. Waking up alone in bed had never bothered me before. Aside from sometimes sharing a bed with my sis, I had always woken up alone and never minded. Today was different though. I don't know if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed- well I woke up on my side of the bed, but I just didn't have any fight left in me. I could complain about Tony and make jokes about how he was trying to kill me, but in truth, such grumpy jokes really didn't appeal to me today.



The only thing to do on such an odd day was to work out and continue to make progress where I needed to make it. My athletic skill was rising, thankfully, and I think I had gotten the hang of the treadmill. Well, when I got on it, I felt no malice towards the thing. Odd, right? I didn't mumble anything about Crumbitt or Bruce, I didn't skin my knee. I was just ... running. Is this what depression is? I can't say I'm really enjoying it...


The time to go to work rolled around just after lunch, and for whatever reason I took my plate with me. I can't really explain that. I will however mention that as I got into the car, I remembered that Cyclon3's house had a broken sink and shower because of me. I felt something akin to guilt, I think. I can't be sure, it was the first time I'd experienced such a sentiment. It was a mixture of nausea and a sinking sensation in my stomach. Perhaps it was guilt with a little bit of missing him? I really can't say. I can say, though, that I didn't enjoy it and I thought briefly that the only remedy would be to skip work and find him. I'm not sure what I would have done if I found him, but perhaps ask him to help me fix his broken appliances. It was tempting idea.

I didn't, though. I heard on the grapevine that I was up for a promotion to rookie and I really didn't want to miss work because I felt something akin to guilt. How silly would that be?


I followed Leighton into work, which meant I was right on time. He said something briefly about how it was nice to see me and today was going to be a good day. I tried to be happy to see him, but really it was just a reminder that my life was going no where. Sure, I was going to be rich and famous, but what kind of life would that be? Was I going to be all alone? Forever?

I didn't even have that giggly, nervous little spark that I always had around him. It was tragic really. The one man that I felt really drawn to, just didn't really attract me anymore. Deep down I think that I believed that he'd be the only man I could ever love and since he was beyond my grasp I was okay with being single forever, like some tragic heroine with a snarky sense of humor. Now I didn't even have that. Well, I didn't have the secret forbidden love story, but I was sure the snarky sense of humor would come back. It always did.

I did get promoted. I was happy for a few minutes, but mostly tired. On my way out the fitness director caught me and told me that he'd been noticing my increased athletic abilities and he wanted to give me a bonus for it. I smiled politely and accepted. Shouldn't it have made me ecstatic though? I was getting noticed around town, I got promoted. I was playing for the Sunset Valley Llamas. In fact, I was going to be in their soccer game the next day. Why wasn't I excited? What was wrong with me?


I went home to an empty house.

There's not much else I can say about that.


I didn't even throw a fit when my shower was cold and then broken. Why bother? It would still be broken tomorrow. I could just rant and rave about it then, right?


My bed wasn't made when I laid down to go to sleep. How would it have been? I live alone. If I didn't do it, of course it didn't get done.

What kind of a life am I living?

-Lynn Winslow
~~~~~

So I know it was a different sort of flavor from the usual story. I am sure she'll go back to being a little crazy and funny, but today she really was a little down. She seemed genuinely lonely. :( Poor Lynn.

I'm sure things will get better, though.

6 comments:

  1. A new update immediately! Squee!

    Awww. Lynn is so quirky and charming, even when she's depressed. I hope she picks up the phone and calls Cyclone. Cyclone all the way baby!!

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    1. :) Thanks! I was really happy to get to update it today! I really didn't think I was going to be able to, but I found some extra time (read as, decided to shirk a little, lol)

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  2. Yay!! Poor Lynn. I really enjoyed this, though. I think your writing has improved immensely, and I'm really looking forward to Lynn being back to her snarky self. :-)

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    1. I'm not sure that my writing has really improved, but thanks for the sentiment, none the less. But who knows? Maybe my BV fic helped me out on that? :D

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    2. You are way too self-conscious about your writing. You have a lovely voice for Lynn. This isn't exactly a pro-quality hobby, but I think it makes for decent low-stress plotting and prose practice. Rest assured you are better than the average :).

      What's BV fic?

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    3. My BV Fic is a fanfiction I wrote for the k-drama, Beethoven Virus. I still haven't named it, lol. It's probably my longest and favorite thing that I've written. :D

      I'll try to be less insecure about my writing- it's just been so long since I wrote that I'm feeling a little squeaky. Thanks, though, for the reassurance. :) I really will try to be less self-concious.

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