DOARS- Week 9 Day 6- The Sun Will Come Out

Welcome Back! I'm working very diligently to get back into the swing of writing. Technically I'm behind two days, but I haven't played in FOREVER, so it'll probably be quite a while after the next chapter before we see an update. But, I know that you guys will wait around patiently cos you're good like that. :)

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Dear Diary,

Today I did not have to remember anything when I woke up. I had nightmares all night about every terrible thing that could happen to the growing life inside me. I'd go into details, but then I'd have to relive it, and that is not something I'm willing to do. Experiencing it once was more than sufficient for a lifetime.

I must say I'm changing so much more than I expected, now that I'm about to be a mother. My view on life is infinitely different. I worry about what kind of example I'm setting, how to live a good life, how to be honorable, how to develop good work habits. How does one raise a healthy well adjusted child? How did my parents do it? I'm so fortunate to still have them in my life. I could do it alone, with just Rommich and I, but it's so much better that we have my parents. I only hope I don't give into the temptation to make it all their responsibility.

Let's face it. I'm a smuggler. I'm a sell out. I'm a hypocrite. I don't deserve to be a mother, I don't deserve this baby, and I'm just not good enough for it. Wouldn't it be better with my parents?

Now, I know, I'm supposed to tell myself that's wrong. It's my responsibility, it's my child, it will be better with me. I'm just not sure that I believe that. Sure, it is my responsibility, that's absolutely correct, but what's best for my baby? My entire life has been turned on its head, how am I supposed to be sure about anything anymore?



My parents work so well together, will Rommich and I ever have that? I love him with all of my heart, I honestly do. He's for sure the best I could have ever wanted or asked for. There isn't another soul I'd want as my life partner. It's just that this assignment is going to break us. How could it not? I don't see any way out, I don't see any relief, and I sure as hell don't see a light at the end of the tunnel.

What are we going to do?

My mother always told me to count my blessings. She said to focus on the little good stuff when life gets you down. Funny that she would say that, right? She worries about everything, every change is a new problem that could wipe out the planet to her! I mean I didn't grow up finding empty toothpaste everywhere and used bottles of soap for nothing.

The thing is, I've read about neurotic sims and it could be so much worse. Maybe focussing on the good things, no matter how small, is how she escaped being totally psychotic? Maybe that's how she learned to cope with it. I mean, she's a far cry from the sim that imprisoned her youngest son in a crypt for his own safety! Or was it a dungeon?  Basement? I can't remember, I only remember that it was an explanation for his infamous life of crime.

But I digress, I'm trying to focus on positive things here. So let's look at the brightside. We're financially stable. That could be one HUGE stress on us, but our baby is not ever going to know what it feels like to be in need, to be poor. That is something I'm truly grateful for.

Also, we live in a beautiful part of the simWorld. Starlight Shores is a gorgeous place for sure! The weather is always nice, the water is perfect for swimming. The neighborhood is nice. There are probably little kids that aren't questionable in any way running around that my baby will grow up with. Aside from my brother, I really didn't have that. That is another thing I really am grateful for.


It looks like my family weren't the only ones uprooted from Sunset Valley. I wonder what they did to tick off the alien counsel. I mean, people only move here as a punishment, right?

You know, I really shouldn't complain too much about the location. Every sim dreams of living in Starlight Shores. We've got celebrities, career opportunities, great weather. What more could you want from a location?

We've got open to the public sim fests to show off new talent. Before too long it's gonna be Rommich on that stage performing. It'll be wonderful to see the crowds go wild for him. He may not be at all suited to being a celebrity, but his singing is pretty fantastic. I can guarantee that he never would have sung to me if he hadn't received this assignment. So that's not bad, either.

Plus, he's excited about our baby. I wish I could be more excited, like him.

But for now it's enough that he is. He's going to be a great father. I know he's wanted children for a long time. He's wanted a family for a long time. Sometimes I forget about how much older than me he is, but he's been wanting a family for about as long as I've been alive. I'm so happy that no one snatched him up before I could. His determination to keep living the life he wants even though we're forced into unappealing careers does a lot to keep me from totally losing my mind and falling into a deep depression. Not that I'm happy. I wouldn't go that far, but maybe, with Rommich by my side, maybe I will be happy in time. Maybe.

I know my family is worried about me. My mother keeps telling me that my mood will affect my baby. I don't want that. That's why I'm trying to be better. I want to give this baby everything it deserves. Even if I have to live a life of crime, maybe I can hide it from my children. They don't have to know what I do, just that I work. Won't that be better?


In other news that may or may not affect the future of this family, my father has found a new toy. One that really freaks my mother and me out. He's messing with the genetic codes of things and cloning and all sorts of scientific things that could potentially go awry.

No matter, though, he's smart, he's responsible, and I have so much on my plate that I'm not going to add a potential worry to my list of misery.

Rommich made sure that I ended the day on a happy note. He stayed in bed with me until I fell asleep. That was very sweet of him. When he's right next to me I feel like we might actually have a chance after all.

Plus, this maternity leave means a delay in joining the smuggling business. That can't be a bad thing, right?

Hoping for happy dreams,

Raquel Thobanob