DOARS- Week 9, Day 7- Little Miracles

Welcome back! For those of you who are monitoring Raquel's pregnancy, you may be very excited to see this post, as she's due to give birth today! Yay! I'm excited, you're excited, we're all excited, so let's get on with it, eh?
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Dear Diary,

This morning when I woke up, the other members of the family were going about their business much like they always do.


My father was messing around with his genetic experiments.


My husband was messing around with his scientific experiments.



And I woke up feeling very strange. On my way to find Rommich, I realized why.

Rommich rushed me to the hospital, and just two hours later we went home with William.

When we got back home, my mother was tending to the garden. A task she immediately left to come coo over William and tell me that he looks just like his father. That's true, William does look an awful lot like Rommich. Actually, he doesn't look anything like me. If I hadn't just given birth to him, I might wonder if he was really mine.


My dad was waiting for us in the newly furnished nursery section of our room. His baby girl had just had a baby of her own, and he was so happy, and trying so hard not to cry. It was touching, really. My father was a quiet man who kept his feeling close to his chest, seeing him so moved over William made me love my father even more. He was going to be a great grand-father.


William was such a little thing. He fell asleep in my arms before we even came home. It almost stirred something inside me. Almost.

My mother took him until she had to go to work. She said I needed to rest and recuperate after having a baby, but I saw the look in her alien eyes. The joy of being a grandmother was tempered by fear and sadness. I'm not William's mother, and she could tell. Well, genetically I'm his mother, but the bond just wasn't there and I couldn't hide that from her.

While my mother watched William, Rommich rushed off for his mandatory singing in the park. The minimum he was obligated to perform every day was two hours. I might have resented him for it, for leaving his brand new baby for a few hours, but I didn't. I only wished that I could have gone with him.

I know what I'm supposed to feel for William and I don't feel it. I'm supposed to love him, to want to hold him... I'm supposed to feel something, but I can barely look at him. The only thing I feel when I hear him whimper is guilt. I never should have had him.

My brother came over as Rommich was getting home. He needed to talk about the assignment I'd be starting as soon as my maternity leave was up. I tried to pay attention, really I did. It was something about breaking into the local concert hall and then delivering the goods.. somewhere, but I couldn't focus, my thoughts were consumed by the fact that I was going to have to be home with William for the next four work days, while my parents hovered, and watched me like a hawk; while they were probably judging me for everything I did wrong as a mother.

As soon as my brother left an intense exhaustion came over me and I excused myself to bed. Maybe the only thing that was wrong with me was being worn out after giving birth. Maybe when I wake up I'll feel like a mother. That must be it... right?

But that night, something very strange happened...
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I've often said of my stories that they take a mind of their own and I just write them as I feel fit. Maybe that's why my writing style isn't consistent and my stories never get finished, lol. But still, I wanted William to be what Raquel needed to start feeling some joy. I really did... but... she just wasn't having it. When William was born Raquel just wasn't feeling it, despite being a Family Oriented sim.