DOARS- Day 10 -Death On A Stick... machine

Dear Diary,

Today really wasn't anything special, and yet it was good. Isn't that great? I just know that you love reading about my boring life. every day. So without further ado, I'll tell you about my 10th day in SV (which started promptly at 4:58 am, yay! NO BIRDS!).

First, let me start my saying that the gnomes got the idea and gave me a mirror. It's not very nice, but I suppose it's better than nothing. I mean, it is kinda nice to be able to see what I'm doing when I'm brushing my teeth.

I dug right into yesterday's pancakes, which were a little rubbery, but they were food, and I didn't have to cook them today.

I cleaned everything in the house and dumped a bunch of garbage, which was oddly satisfying. I feel much better about my house now. Hopefully the gnomes will appreciate it, too.

With all that extra time from waking up early I had time to use the other thing the gnomes got for me. That's right, the death trap. I just can't seem to get the hang of it! Stupid pesky gnomes! I would rather have not had anything than this thing! Ok, fine, you're right, that's not entirely true, I'm happy to have some exercise equipment of my own, even if it's not my preferred way to work out. (Though I do seem to be using it a lot, don't I?)

I take a super quick shower and run off to work, actually I was in such a rush that I didn't even have time to rant about the shower being ice cold. At least the gnomes got part of my demands right, even if they didn't fix my shower.

The stadium was unusually empty when I got there, which also meant there were no signs of toddlers. It stayed like that until they all showed up at once. Grr! Oh well, they seem to be getting used to me (sort of), but none of them have started providing me with gossip, so I really don't see any benefits to this specific job. Though, it isn't as bad as I was expecting and I do take back what I said about them being carnivorous monsters, they really aren't monsters, just miniature trouble makers.

Cyclon3 invited me to his party! Which started at 5, while I was still working. Against my better judgement I went after work, and he seemed happy to see me there. It was sweet that he invited me, IMO. Leighton had hosted several parties since I moved here, and although he and I have been friends for longer than Cyclon3 and I, and he's never invited me to any parties. Though, now that I mention it I'm not sure why I'm comparing them, I guess it just seemed logical thing to do, right?

Okay, okay, I'll stop  playing dumb, I'm actually pretty intelligent, you know. Cyclon3 is single, I am single, we get along pretty well, etc, etc. Well, for you're information I know that I could pursue him if I wanted, I just don't want to. Really. There's nothing between us. I found him initially attractive, but since I think he's most likely a loser, although a sweet loser, still a loser. When I'm famous and rich, will I really want to be married to a loser? No, not really. That is why I'm not thinking about Cyclon3 like that. Understand? Well, I don't really care what you say, because I get it and since I'm the one making the decisions, that's all that matters. So there.


Anyways, Cyclon3 said that since I looked super tired I could crash at his place, so I am.

Goodnight, diary.

Sleepy and boring,

Lynn Winslow

DOARS- Day 9 -Forbidden

Dear Diary,

Birds chirping, again. Meh. I'm still not used to it. So I decided this morning, that I'm going straight home and to bed tonight. I want to be up early tomorrow, cos this bird thing is the worst way to wake up. It's ruined my whole day! ... And do I really have to make this bed? Really?

My laundry hamper was full, and for what? What did you do for me yesterday gnomes? Anything? You better pay me back for this laundry that I did this morning!

I dutifully took the laundry out of the washer once it had finished, I may not be too happy with those lazy gnomes today, but I was determined to keep my end of the deal. They had better make it worth my while, I want a mirror in my bathroom and an exercise bench. I made sure to vocalize my demands while hanging the laundry. I think they get the point, don't you?

Proof positive that the birds ruined my day, my shower was ice water, again. Now on a normal day, maybe I don't mind so much, maybe I'm even anticipating a cold shower, but with the birds chirping away and distracting me I forgot that I don't have hot water. And the shower was not the relaxing one that I hoped for. I added that to my list of vocal demands for the gnomes. I want a shower with hot water.

How does time pass so quickly? Oh yeah, I can't wake up before those pesky birds start chirping. What happened to my early rising? I miss it. Hopefully when I'm big and famous I'll get earlier work hours. I guess we'll find out (because I will make it to the top)! So I make something to eat and have no time to eat it! In fact I'm late to work and starving on my first day of Toddler Coaching. Can you believe it? UGH! Could this day get worse? No!

But it can get a little better, as I see that fine looking boss of mine jog into work. Mmm hmm, he's looking better and better everyday. *dreamy sigh*

I'll take this time to let you know that I'm sure it will be my face on this picture in no time. Isn't that great? I love thinking about things like that, it always makes me feel better.... especially when I'm expending myself to chase down a particularly evil child named Juston (The Keaton boy, who is also my neighbor.)

The only thing to do after what was too hideous a day to describe to you, is jog home and hope that I will be able to just plop down and go to sleep.

I was about to head in to bed when Leighton called. I will always stay up and talk to him, no matter how sad that is. Will we ever be together? No. Not ever. I'm sorry if you're thinking that we ever will be. I'm I totally crazy about him? Yes, but I've already had to admit all the reasons this will never work and they're not going to change. Believe me, no one is sorrier than I am for it.

After we hung up, I'm a little bit sad, a little depressed, and feeling like maybe I should do one last thing for the gnomes before I go to sleep. So I finish up the laundry and head to bed. Why must I want what I can't have?


Eternally pathetic,

Lynn Winslow

DOARS- Day 8 Dates and Contracts

Dear Diary,

I woke up this morning around 7. The first thought that entered my mind was that I did not want to spend the whole day with toddlers. Then I remembered that today is Sunday, and I have the day off. So I got out of bed feeling much better, and very relieved. Which of course led me to remember that my house is a completely different place now. So I went on a tour.

Which started, obviously, with the room that is immediately attached to my bedroom, also known as the main room. It had a kind of beachy feel and was a thousand times better than yesterday's rotting wood.

 My stomach and the fridge (and possibly my chaotic mind) distracted me and instead of finishing the tour of my not-so-hovel-like-house, I fixed breakfast.

Which was quite tasty and I ate it at the now paint covered table and chairs. It would take a little getting used to, but thus far the changes in my home were much easier on the eyes. Even if I'm not really all that fond of blue. Though I can't say that I thought the previous look of the table and chairs really needed to be redone. Oh well, whoever changed things around certainly thought so.

After I finished breakfast I remembered that I hadn't finished my tour, so I went into the bathroom and looked around. More blue. BUT! It wasn't rotting wood, and I could deal with a color that isn't my favorite as long as it didn't look like it was falling apart, right?

Well, of course, even though everything looks different, it isn't really and the shower is in fact falling apart. Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

Would I have dealt with the shower right away if my phone hadn't rang? It is likely, but my phone did ring. Turns out, people have been noticing that I'm hanging with a slightly famous crowd (I do work with professional athletes, you know) and my 'manager' (I have one of those?) thought it would be good for me to work out and get a little more toned. As my plans for the day already included working out, I readily agreed, and hoped this 'manager' was trustworthy.

I spent a little of my free time cleaning up around the house, I really did like to live in a clean place, even if I didn't particularly enjoy being the one that cleaned it.

Next up was the dastardly shower that pours icy water over me every day. I doubt that my showers will be any warmer now that I've fixed the shower. In fact, I'm not even sure I have a hot water heater here. I mean, have you seen one? I certainly haven't.

Fixing the shower naturally led to mopping up all the water that had covered the floor. After all, I wouldn't wan to slip and bump my head and die, or worse yet drown. That would be awful, it's best to take care of things when they happen, you know.

And then I noticed that I have a dishwasher now. Which made me pause before loading it with dishes. Of the things I had complained about (loudly) I had most of them now. Sure I paid for them, but I didn't actually acquire them myself... and I was constantly washing someone else's laundry. I made the conclusion that I'm sure you have already reached. The gnomes were hacking into my funds and purchasing the things I needed, they also had used their gnome powers to change the appearance of my house, and in return for them taking care of me, I was to wash all their laundry. It seemed like a fair deal, really.

As it seemed appropriate to do so, I immediately started some laundry. Hopefully the gnomes will take that as agreement of the contract on my part.

 Feeling satisfied that I had mystical ceramic creatures on my side, I left the door unlocked and went for a jog around down. I jogged for a large portion of the day. Now, I may not like birds chirping, but that isn't to say that I don't enjoy the wonders of nature. In fact, the sunset was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen and I began to understand why this place is called Sunset Valley. I must say the marvelous views and the overwhelming beauty of my jog left me in a peculiar mood. I was much more amiable than usual and I was feeling high on life.

So when Cyclon3 flagged me over, I obliged him and went to hear what he had to say. Now, let me be clear about this, Cyclon3 and I were not friends. We have chatted a few times, I've visited his house a few times, but we were still only acquaintances. Or, on the cusp of friendship, you could say. Just to be ever more clear, I felt no obligation to come over, I merely did because I was in a very good mood.

He asked me to dinner, to which I agreed. Free dinner? I'm all there, you know. After we got to the restaurant he started mumbling and doing calculations on his fingers. Yes, he didn't really have the money to take me out. I felt bad for him. I mean, two days ago he peed his pants in front of me and we weren't even friends, and now here he was (embarrassingly) unable to buy me the dinner he promised. You know, sometimes I can be nice, and I decided to demonstrate that here. I bought him dinner. Turns out my fame is getting around town, and I got it half off. Score!

It was the oddest thing, we were outside eating, laughing, having a good time, cracking computer jokes and it hit me. Cyclon3 was the only person that I wanted to be hanging out with at that very moment. I wouldn't have even rathered to be eating with Monika Morris (now Hart, as she married the town loon), which is really saying something as Monika is my best friend and until this point I had thought that everything would be more enjoyable with Monika around. Obviously, here at dinner I realized that that was inaccurate.

After dinner I invited Cyclon3 back to my house to show me some of his "wicked hopscotch skilz" as he put it. The oddness of the day continued and as I excitedly pointed out one of my favorite constellations I looked back to him, and realized that he had only been looking at me the whole time I'd been ranting about the stars. It made me a little uncomfortable, but not in a bad way. I think I might have blushed, but I'm not really sure why. I mean, Cyclon3 and I are just friends, and really just barely friends, at that.

I did the only thing I could do, which was clear my throat and hand him a rock, declaring that he could go first. That was the hospitable thing to do, right?

Eventually he won the game. That was quite surprising, usually I am the master of hopscotch, but for some reason I just couldn't get into it today. My game was off and I kept messing up. Despite my innate love for the game, I honestly enjoyed watching him play it more. I don't think I need to say that that was unsettling, but I will anyway. It was unsettling, at best.

 Around 2 am, we were both exhausted and hopscotch'ed out, so I called it a night and he called a taxi. I watched him leave and almost wished that he didn't have to. We really did have a fun time hanging out, and it would have been nice if we hadn't been so tired, we could've danced or worked out together, or something.


No matter, it was a good day, although a little confusing, and undoubtedly the strangest day yet, here in Sunset Valley.

Unable to stop smiling for no apparent reason,

Lynn Winslow

DOARS- Day 7- Doomed

 Dear Diary,

Will I ever wake up before the birds start chirping? Those noisy pests really get on my nerves, I mean who wants to wake up to that? Crazy people, that's who... and probably Robert Bruce and William Cumbitt.

I must say that although I went to sleep excited about working, I did not wake up so. In fact now I really don't want to go. I want to lounge around the house in my pajamas and do nothing. Well, obviously that's not going to happen. So I cleaned up a bit, hoping to get myself motivated to go into work. Rumor has it, I'm up for a promotion, you see. Both Monica and Agnes have been promoted out of the Toddler's coach position, and as two of my best friends, they've recommended me for the job. (Would that actually make them two of my worst friends since I don't want that job?) It really comes down to two things, would I rather throw food at sweaty, fanatic (and dare I say it, rabid) people, or chase a bunch of energetic toddlers? I honestly don't know. They both smell bad.

Speaking of smelling bad, I decided to add a bit to the world of stink by working out. I'm not entirely sure where this stereo came from, but I can work out from home now, so I'm not going to worry about the source of my new stereo too much. (And table and chairs- I mean I didn't go out to a furniture store to buy them or anything, they just showed up and the money was subtracted from my bank account. Weird.)

My laundry hamper was getting a little full, which obviously was not from my own clothing. However I wasn't going to get too upset about it, there were other things that I could get upset about, like oh how they advertised this dump as a cottage and I was suckered into buying it, and now not only is the wood rotting but so are my eyeballs. So as I did the laundry, that was really not my own, I grumbled and mumbled about sub-standard housing for future sports stars. I know that my story, rags to riches, could potentially inspire my future fans (including yourself, if you're reading this) but do I really have to live through it? I'm going to be prestigious, I'm already slightly famous, and I'm living in this? Ick. I don't even think it deserves to be called a house.

I hung the recently washed laundry and dragged myself to the carpool. I had this sick sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach that I would come home and be doomed to toddler prison... or at least coaching the little buggers.

As I got out of the carpool, I held my head high and walked bravely into the building. I would accept this promotion with dignity and grace and no trace of fear or dread would show on my face.

Six hours later, I can't say that I was particularly graceful or dignified, but I wasn't completely trembling, either, so we'll call it a success.... despite the fact that I would be working with toddlers and not adults for the foreseeable future. It was a pretty terrifying prospect, as I'm sure you would imagine.

Now if you're sitting there thinking to yourself, "What is she complaining about, she's been working there for less than a week and she already got promoted twice, at this rate her days surrounded by toddlers will be very few, indeed."

Well, all I have to say to you, dear reader that would make such a remark, is this: One day with toddlers is an eternity, imagine two days, or potentially more. Before you ask if am I planning on having children, no, not really. So there, and if I do, I'm sure my toddlers won't be nearly as bad as the carnivorous monsters that roam the streets of Sunset Valley.

Feeling the need to release some of my mounting anxiety, I jogged home from work. It was nice and cool out.  However, when I got home all of my thoughts of toddlers and the dangers associated with them flew away and were replaced with astonishment.

My house really is a cottage now, how in the world did that happen?!?
I'm too exhausted from work and fear to think about it too much now, so I'm going to bed. Hopefully I'll wake up and it will all be clear, but we'll see. Also I need to remember to take a look at everything that's changed and come up with some sort of theory to explain it all.

The new confused master of toddler sports,

Lynn Winslow