DOARS- Day 4- The Cure to Rabies

Dear Diary,

Today I woke up in an excellent mood! I woke up around 7 am so I had plenty of time to relax before work. Well, if I had chosen to relax, that is.

I started the morning with some pancakes because I was feeling daring enough to use the stove. Which, happily, did not blow up in my face. As I finished serving my food I gave the stink eye to my washing machine- it had better pay attention and take notes on the stove's behavior!

The downside to my perfectly cooked pancakes was that I had to eat them in the bathroom. I keep telling myself that I'll get used to not having any seating, but I'm pretty certain I'm lying, and if I'm not, then I'll probably get used to it when I finally have the money for a table and chairs. Man, I wish my job paid better. Well, I suppose they can't pay rabid fans too much, we are, after all, questionable at best when it comes down to sanity. Who knows what sort of nefarious plots a well paid rabid fan could scheme. It's best not to unleash that upon the world.

Still feeling the need to be productive, I headed outside to put up my laundry and it donned on me. Those seriously aren't my clothes. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the clothes that I had been washing everyday weren't really mine either. I mean cammo? I wouldn't be caught dead in that! My only conclusion is that gnomes have been stealing people's clothing and slipping into my clothing hampers. Those pesky gnomes.

After locking my windows and door, I headed out for a jog. The weather here is always so lovely, so I thought I'd take advantage of that. Not to mention, that running on something that doesn't move is a thousand times safer than running on something that does. Let's face it, whoever invented the treadmill had to be insane... and possibly the same person that started the trend of offering up your favorite color to complete strangers. Just sayin', both of those things make the same amount of sense... which is none.

My invigorating jog led me to the gym where I took a swim in the pool. I can't say much about it, really. The water was cold, I got chlorine in my eyes, but I did get another athletic point and I think there is a good possibility that it will help me with a promotion. As I swam I found myself wishing that Cyclon3 was there to swim with me- swimming is so boring when you're all by yourself.

Before too long it was time to head to work, so I headed right over and I actually got there before my boss, so good sign? Maybe? What do you say? If you said yes, then you're right. I ended up with a promotion, fantastic! I got promoted to a snack hawker, which in my opinion is more than just one step above rabid fan. Snack hawkers can be sane and respectable, after all.

After work I caught Monica on her way home and told her my exciting news. She didn't seem terribly excited for me, I guess she had something else on her mind. So after casually reminding her that Jack Bunch is a married man with 4 children, I invited her to my house to celebrate my promotion. She seemed a bit shocked and readily agreed.

Which was excellent because we got to play hopscotch (helps the athletic skill, booya) and I totally wiped the floor with her. Heh. Take that miss toddler coach. My skilz were so mad that she couldn't even try to keep up. Heh.

The "gracious" loser proceeded to pummel me with a pillow afterwards. I mean, she claimed she was just playing around, but I know the truth. She had it out for me. For working with toddlers all day, she's got a pretty mean streak- which appeals to my hate-the-world attitude. I think the evening cemented our fledgling friendship.

Monica didn't end up leaving until just past midnight so I quickly had a salad and now I'm heading to bed. This was a productive day, so I hope tomorrow goes just as well.


The no longer rabid,

Lynn Winslow