DOARS- Week 4 Day 1 -Roses

OMgoodness, Lynn is a parent! Everyone has been eagerly anticipating what kind of a parent she would be, including myself. Actually, even though I've played through this day, I still don't know! Lol! I guess maybe a neurotic one....
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Dear Diary,

I am a mother. Oh my goodness, I'm a mother. I have a baby. Cycl0n3 and I have a baby. It's amazing and scary and just plain weird. Who would have thought that I'd be a parent? Me, a parent? I'm just about as far as you can get from maternal as possible. And yet, here I am. So I guess I probably have about as good a chance at this mother thing as anyone.

Cycl0n3, being the fantastic husband that he is, stuck around until I woke up. Also, judging by the baby's clean diaper and contented sleep, it seems like he also took care of the little one while I slept, well either he did it or the gnomes did.

Hey, that's a thought! I wonder if the gnomes are watching over and helping with the new generation? I mean, they obviously helped prepare for Hector, why wouldn't they help care for him? I'll have to be alert to their interference. 

Now I've seen a lot of movies with new parents and I've read those pregnancy books, so I'm familiar with the concept that couples with babies have no free time... and, yet, here Cycl0n3 and I are with free time on our hands. The baby is sleeping soundly and we both... well, okay, maybe just I, got a good night's sleep. Now I'm not dumb enough to assume that this free time thing will become a trend, I get that it might be a one time thing, so we used this very unexpected time to our advantage.

He went straight to the garden and me to the treadmill. I thought it was nice that I managed to get my figure back immediately after I had the baby. I mean, I know that's what the pregnancy book said, but I really didn't believe it... 

I heard Hector fussing as I was finishing up my workout, so I hopped off the treadmill to get him. He seems happy, but I'm sure the stench is getting to him. How could it not? I mean, I'm giving off green fumes! Look at them! They're greeeeeeen.

At any rate he really didn't seem to mind and we spent hours together. I perhaps should have had Cyclon3 take him for long enough for me to shower, but I just didn't think about it. Besides, one look at his little scrunched up face and I could tell he just wanted his momma.

You know, it's kind of nice and scary that there are now two people in this world that love me unconditionally.

So scary that it really deserves the brushing of teeth... three times. Now I know what you're thinking, you saying to yourself, OMGoodness, she's totally OCD! I can practically hear you, you're being so loud! I'd like point out three things: 1) You're not a doctor of any sort and really shouldn't be diagnosing anyone; 2) I merely find the having ridiculously clean teeth to be soothing and hygienic; and 3) I could quit at any time, you know, and be perfectly fine.

Now that we have that covered, let's move on, eh?

My grandmother's cousin Bertha (ick, what a name!) sent our little bundle a weird doll, pictured above. She came with a name, Polly? Rags? Pal? I can't really remember, but I'm sure that if my baby warms up to the thing, he'll give it a new name, so I'm not going to wrack my brain trying to remember it. Though it really should have a name tag- I mean what kind of people give a named doll as a gift and don't attach a name tag/collar/dog tag/ bracelet/ etc to the thing?
Lazy people that's who. And people who insinuate or out right accuse other people of being OCD! Yeah, I haven't forgotten yet. That's just plain bad manners.

I think by this time everyone knows what this means. It's the start of the fourth week in SV- why is this still happening? Do I seriously not have enough money for the gnomes to replace this hunk of junk? I'm tired of getting doused in ice water! Maybe if my senses weren't daily assaulted thus, I wouldn't feel the need to brush my teeth so many times!

Now, I know what you're saying to yourself (and maybe everyone else) you're saying, "Man, for a new mother, she doesn't seem to be very focused on her baby!" And here's how I would respond: 1) My level of focus is not up to you to decide and I am focused, so there; 2) See that? That picture up there? (On a side note, who includes pictures in their diaries? It's kind of weird.... but, I do! That's who! I'm starting a new fad- pictured diaries published as memoires) What was I saying? Right, that picture up there, I'm checking the sink so that Tony's minions will fail in drowning me and my baby and my husband. Isn't that good of me? What was that? Huh? Paranoid? Hey! It is a good thing to do!  Well, for all you accusatory and negligent people out there, I hope your house floods. So there.

Back to nice topics, I spent the rest of the day with Hector, and he was delightful. He spit up on my shirt. He cried most of the time. He almost squirmed his way out of my arms and onto the ground. And he learned how to scream. Really loudly.

Now I love the little guy, but I must say that I'm happy that I'm not doing this alone. Cycl0n3 heard the ruckus and came to my rescue. Aww. That was sweet. I left the two of them alone for just a bit, before watching him at the door. I wouldn't want him to know that I was ogling him, you know. But really, that's attractive. Man + baby (my baby!)= seriously endearing.

Though, it did make me realize that he's a much better father than I am mother. Which I suppose isn't a problem.... but.... it does kind of bother me. I want to be a good mother. I'm Lynn Sw0rd! I used to be Lynn Winslow! Why can't I be a good mother? Well, I guess I'll just have to pay a lot of attention to Cycl0n3 and do as he does, I can probably learn a lot!

One of the drawbacks to being a mother, though, is that you get less time with your spouse. I mean, one of you ( at least in my household) is generally tending to the baby, while the other eats, or sleeps, or showers, etc. Where is the time together? I mean, we can spend time together with the baby, but just the two of us? Not really. Though I suppose that's what baby sitters are for... but Hector was born last night, and I really think he's too young for a babysitter.

Around 8 pm, I took Hector back from Cycl0n3 and tried to mimic some of the things Cycl0n3 did, and it actually worked. Hector was much calmer and happy. He even fell asleep while I rocked him back and forth. It was really touching and sweet. Sleeping babies are the best.

To my surprise, after I put Hector down, I turned around and Cycl0n3 was standing there with some red roses! They were lovely! They had a little note that said something like 'For the lovely new mother to my lovely son'. Cycl0n3 really knows how to encourage me. :) I almost don't even feel bad about not knowing what to do with my baby. Almost.

We got a little bit of quality time together before it was time for us to go to sleep. I hope I always find time to cuddle with Cycl0n3, it's one of my favorite things in this world.


Wife of the best father ever,

Lynn Sw0rd

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